HOW YOUR SEX ECLIPSES YOUR SKILLSET

By: Consumedly

It's one of those devastatingly-frustrating, poisonously-enraging moments where I wish I could strangle the person talking to me. Of course I won't, because I'm a grown up, a professional and a lady. The Lebanese glass ceiling is about to come crashing down on my head, and yours.
I'm at work, with the CEO and the Human Resources Officer, discussing the suitability of three candidates for a new position. One person undoubtedly stands out: she has a great profile and she nailed the interview. Yet, it took one tiny detail to dismiss her entirely: she's getting married in two months. This makes her a liability according to the HR Officer: "A woman planning a wedding is not focusing on her job, we need someone who can hit the ground running, what if she gets pregnant in three months, what if her husband finds a job in Dubai in six months, and she leaves us to follow him?" I present her professional achievements, and highlight that she comes very highly recommended but the others don't want to hear it.
The HR Officer is herself woman, hardly older than me, probably not even 30 yet, and I wonder what is going on in that thick head of hers. I tell her I'm disappointed by her attitude and all I get is, "You don't understand the needs of the company at the moment". Oh how I wish I could smash her skull with her own laptop. Instead I just take another bitter sip of coffee when I'm firmly asked by the CEO to pick another candidate. It's not an isolated incident; a few months ago, an engineer did not get a team leader position because her boss feared that the young mother would not be able to provide the needed professional commitment. Yet she does her unpaid overtime on a regular basis just like everyone else. Here too, what hurt me the most was overhearing a young female intern comment that "it was normal" and that "that's not a job for a mom". Ladies, what's going on! I'm almost used to men questioning a woman's professional commitment, but do we need to be torpedoing each other's careers as well?

It's not difficult to understand why so few women reach the decision-making positions: I work in a cool tech startup (aren't they all?), with a hungry young CEO ready to build an empire (aren't they all?). Every day is crazy and intense, yet the job also feels like middle school sometimes: the employees, aged 22 to 35, armed with expensive degrees and ambition, are pampered by an HR department that goes out of their way to make the workplace fun and keep us at the office. There's always birthday cake leftover in the fridge, music, and pizza when we work overtime (and that's every night). The workforce is for the young, the free. It's for those who'll answer the boss' BBM on a Saturday afternoon, and who can not-so-occasionally show up on Sunday. It's exhilarating and no one complains, the young and single live for the job, fathers are expected to be consummate professionals; but, to be honest, nobody wants a young mother around, because a young mother is "expected" to dedicate her life to another human being. Even young women don't want to see young mothers around because in such a harsh economy, they just want to eliminate the competition and it's easy to create a culture expecting everyone to be slaves to their jobs.
What about women who insist on keeping their career on track despite the absence of any support system for women and families? Fresh out of college, it first feels like there's no difference between genders, then slowly, usually right after they get married, things start to happen, or rather, things stop happening: they will not be offered to take on important projects, they will not get the promotion, they will not get the raise, they will not be expected to shine. One way or another, young mothers are subtly (or not so subtly) asked to make a graceful exit.
And they do: the first ones to go are those who marry their college sweetheart. He got a job in Ghana, Montreal or Bahrain and they followed. Ending up in a random city where they have no professional network doesn't matter, their career became secondary the moment they boarded that plane. Then, there are those who "take a break" when the first baby comes, many will never find a job again. The most resourceful will try to be their own boss, hoping for more flexibility as freelancers or consultants. Some, of course, will resist, and hang on tight to that corporate ladder, but they'll see it getting steeper, they'll see their male colleagues get the jobs, the promotions, the corner desk, while they will have to refuse that opportunity in Dubai because a Lebanese husband will not relocate for his wife's job. When the machine is done using them, the glass ceiling crushes them. In Lebanon, that ceiling can be pretty low.

Obviously, I cannot challenge the fact that it takes XX chromosomes to carry a baby, that the process takes nine months and that there's usually more work to be done afterwards. Pregnancy and giving birth alone are enough to drastically put a person's career on hold. By the time she can get back to the office (maternity leave is only 60 days in Lebanon), the woman is already behind, while her husband kept progressing professionally, so deciding that the woman becomes the primary caregiver can be an economically motivated decision since the initial setback means a lower salary for women. However, it doesn't mean that motherhood (or the possibility of motherhood) makes them second rate professionals. It's not just a question of justice, cold fact and numerous studies indicate that companies with more female decision makers perform better and getting over discrimination issues improves the pool of possible applicants for a job.
Companies should hire more women in leadership positions. More importantly, women themselves should revolt. Instead, they act like it's not their problem; they even enforce the system that will one day chew them up and spit them out. And when that happens, I wonder if they'll realize it's partly their fault.